I’m Jade. Late twenty-something (NINE, OK, NINE. 29. VERY late twenty-something. Fucks sake).

Newlywed. Ish (new-ish, not married-ish).

I’m putting the gin in Geneva, having moved here from London in October 2011 when my husband’s job was transferred out to the land of cheese and snow.

“YES! Jade’s moved to Switzerland!”

I spend my days working towards my PhD in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s short stories (it’s ok to be jealous), bemoaning the injustice of my lactose intolerance given my living in a land specialising in milk chocolate and cheese fondue.

Cause and effect, y’all.

So to recap, I’m ageing, married, and can’t digest any of the good stuff that makes those first two conditions any easier.

I can, however, digest gin. Welcome!